my identity vs role confusion stage: MESS!

it's been 3 months away from you by now,
almost 2 months of my partnerless-ness already.
struggling from deep-within.
2 years lost inside your embrace -even though it's overwhelmingly comfortable-
I am now in search of my self.
collecting all the pieces that's left of me,
trying hard to find a clue,
of who I used to be.

in search of myself, I said.
"I'd find her for you," that's what you said.
",at least, let me wait for you."

NO!
you've known this all along!
you should've known I'm lost!
yet you let me fall!

barely do anything wrong, that's how you do.
the wind beneath my wing, that's what you are.
my muscle, my brows.
my sand castle, in which I feel safe.
too little too safe,
too little too lost.

I wish I could cut myself,
I wish I could just vanished away.
but if so I'll never know.

so I'll just keep looking forward for the day,
when I could finally fix this previous stage's mess,
enter the next with a sort of maturity just enough to get me through,
and we can catch up one day,
shaking hands, shaking knees.
that day when I'll say,
"Hi, I am Edira Putri Surachmat. it's very nice to see you again,
and this time, this is me."
(then you can call me at 8, or just walk away, either way won't hurt)

so here am I,
in search of myself.
and this time,
I'll find it within me.





P.S: btw, just btw,
do you know what the next stage is called?
it's intimacy vs isolation.
this theory rocks!


*berdasarkan Teori Perkembangan Psikososial Erikson,
sebagaimana dijelaskan mbak dosen yang belum-belum perbaikin nilai susulan saya.
tolong mbak, mbak cantik deh.

JavaJazzFest 2012

whoaaa this is so a postponed post!


so, March 4th, cindy and I was so thrilled to attend the Java Jazz Festival 2012, and that brought us to an adventure where we got lost in Stasiun Sawah Besar, got an iPad but got no direction, got a will but got no sufficient knowledge.



that just proved that a strong will is never not enough to reach whatever destination. lol

well, little did I know about jazz and its musician. okaaaay, nothing did I know about 'em. LOL. it's just, well it's something to do with my (so-called) NewYear Resolution. to answer to everything. to say 'yes' to anything. to do anything. to go everywhere. I could write a whole post bout that. LATER. haha

so, our first show to watch is of Trio Lestari.
they're awesome and funny, I was familiar with very few of their songs but it's worth to watch anyway.
sorry for the pic-- I didn't bring my DSLR, I was using a pocket camera. I thought a DSLR would be a lil overwhelming to brought, and I kinda regret that .

next was, Dave Koz. *drumroll pleaseeee*
this guy, is overwhelmingly charming. -no pic-, we're too far from the stage you know, a pocket camera won't do so I didn't waste.
actually I was not really in the situation to write now, homework is piling, so I'd suggest extremely charming and sweet is enough to describe the performance.
I'll write about it some other time. lol.


we saw several other shows I didn't manage to recognize nor remember the name so I guess this is it.
what an useless post. hahah. I just feeling like I should write about this event.


oh and, if we ever want to eat in the festival (which is impossible to resist), we must have a BNI Prepaid card, which I at first gladly purchase, but now dunno where else to use. I still have about 50k in that card. waste!!


okay this is the end of the post.
pointless? I know.
so, pictures, pictures.
they tell a thousand lies of how we wish things should be.
bye!
*acak2 rambut, buka buku, get back to work. MAIN WORK. fokussss!!*

perfection

foto jadul banget,
fully UNRELATED with post.
uploaded for no particular reason
as far as I'm aware of.

"I used to crave for perfection.

It's unhealthy.

Try to keep things in your life in BALANCE instead.

Then it's so much better."

-hikmat mendadak setelah baca Theories of Personalities bagian si Freud tentang id, ego, superego.

apart

admit it.

I complicate your life,

you simplify mine.

but in the end,

in the end we don't like what we become,

after all this time.

so it's gonna be just a lesson to learn,

come and go.

now both of us,

let us go back to where we belong.

apart

my happy ending

if it doesn't last,

then let me hold you for one additional minute

and if it doesn't meant to be,

something else is.

maybe not tonight,

but someday I'll be alright.

like a warrior we fought our battle,

first it's us against all odds then it's you against me

eventually we realize we never fought on the same side

for the same thing

if something's gotta end let it be not our lives,

let it be the war

we, we are blessed with such an ending, a happy ending.

you, you are my happy ending.

who is supposed to tell me

well sorry blog, life's business, tasks even bliss take you away from me.
blame 'em.

okay so this is the many-eth time i dumped my bf over.
yes, that same boyfriend since the first of my story begin. he, that same guy.
that same guy makes me laugh then cry.
makes me love then leave.

well that's not the problem.
at some points everybody has to face it anyway.
the problem indeed, is,
this breaking up scene has been some kind of habit to me.
we go through something, i don't like it, i mad, we mad, i gone mad, thinking better off is without him, become sure of it,then break up.
and then i become lonely, wish he was here, text him, pick up his call,then make up.
this become like some kind of a painful goddamn cycle to me -to both of us.

"When you are single all you see is happy couples.
When you are in a relationship all you see is happy single people"
@DamnItsTrue

and i was like "Damn, it's true!"

WHAT DO I WANT?

write therapy

yes, i dumped my boyfriend.
u could say so i u want to.
but the truth is, i didn't exactly dumped him, in any meaning.
i just ended our pathetic, unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship.
someone has gotta do it anyway.

yes.

and that someone is hurting inside, too.
she feels SOME PAINs. too.
and yet she did it, bearing the hurt, killing the pain,
trying hard to survive and not to drowned inside those overwhelmed memories.
and yes tears rolls down her face when she saw her pictures with you.
there are many of them, unfortunately.
and yes her heart throbs abnormally when she saw u downtown or anywhere else and it hurts like a hypodermic needle, and what makes it even more hurtful is that it's so transparent so u can see the blood runs leaving ur body so cheerfully ahaha i'm beggining to babble again babble babble without even knowing where i'm going.

well the point is,
Thank God, to my rescue,
there's this thingy.
i called it write therapy and it describes its own definition perfectly.
u may think i'm babbling around meaninglessly - yes in fact i am- but u may hv no idea what good this done to me.

yeaa ahh.
go babblin' go babblin' go.

really

..i'm telling u that what i'm trying to say is as clear as what u will read, that i rly swear i rly miss u.
like i mean it.
like i rly rly mean it.

and, you know what,
i miss u is not the same as i rly miss u.
no, it's soooo practically, fundamentally and miserably DIFFERENT.
and when i said i rly miss u, it doesn't mean i miss u. no.
what i mean is what i said and it's I RLY MISS U.
what i mean is what u heard and it's I RLY MISS U.

okaaayy i know this is too much,
at first i didn't know that this kinda feeling rly exist.
come on, it's jz for the beauty of words, i should've told myself at that kinda time.
but that was before i met u.



yah.
before i met u,

2242 km never been this hard.
rly hard.
and rly hard means rly hard. not hard.
what i mean is what i said, and yeah i'm sure u've heard it all before


lolz

a thing or two about distance

well,
I MISS ALMOST ALL OF THE HOLIDAY STORY.
actually there's so much things to tell y'all,
but i can barely remember 'em all.
but most of all, i'm not in the mood of recalling those things.

as for now,
the feeling i'm feeling is something normally abnormal,
it's something you'd probably feel when after a few weeks you can at last meet ur families and hometown friends,
you must let yourself go. away.
2242 km away.

yeah.
today is my FIRST day at Manado again,
after i arrived exactly at midnight.
at a glance, everything's perfectly normal, i'm used to it anyway.
FAR AWAY FROM HOME, is where i belong anyway.
so i stepped off the aircraft, look around the Sam Ratulangi Airport, still exactly the same as when i left nearly a month ago.
and this first sight represent perfectly where I AM NOW and where I WILL BE for a couple of years to come.

well.
i could instantly mention the things i've already miss by now,
like the green public transportation, the light rain in the afternoons, the Bossanova music we're used to listen at home in the mornings, those random conversations in the car as we drive back home from curch,
and there's many other things.

this first morning when i crawl into my bed,
i've been thinking about what's happening inside my head.
and i tried to find some reasons i can still be thankful,
and i found it.

that, fairly,,
there're things i've been missing, too.
things i can only find here, in Manado.
my strict dorm life (hey, I SWEAR I MISS IT, lolz), a tricky afternoon sneaking out of the scool gate, dining's foods (jz some of them, haha), evening heart-warming chat at Lp. Sparta, Tikala with and only with ****. lolliez.
and there're more.

and as i write this, a smooth rain began to wet the basketball yard, reminds me of those afternoons back in my hometown,
and as i plan to live a better and happier life here as a compensation of being far away from those things i miss (yeah, i know that those thing are not rly related), i can see and realize,
that things around me,
good or bad,
great or small,
are things i need the most.

and if i open my mind wide,
(maybe) DISTANCE,
is rly not a reason i can't have something anymore.
the afternoon rains, the home morning musics and all those things are still mine, stored in my head and live in my memory.
and if i open both eyes and arms wide,
(maybe) DISTANCE,
is not that bad at all :)

weird yet funny things

..jadi kemaren gw dan temen2 skelas pas SMP dulu ngumpul tuh d rumahnya Putri, yg notabene ad d sklh SMP dlu..

teruuuuuuuuuss, abis salam2an taun baru (sumpah, ky org2 di kondangan gitu, hehe), stlah ngobrol2 ngalor-ngidul mulai dr gantungan kunci "jaud" (ya ampun smoga gk ada ngerti) pny c herky, gw yg kurusan, jidatnya kevin c, semua2nya diomongin, qt mulai deh ngerusuh lagi di rumahnya c Uthie, ky zaman SMP dulu (sok tua gw, wkwk)

qt nntn yg nmnya PARANORMAL ACTIVITY nih..
dan buat mereka yg blm sempet nonton ni film,
SELAMAT, anda salah satu dari org2 yg beruntung utk tdk menghabis2kan waktu anda duduk menghadap layar TV utk ngeliat kegiatan sepasang cwe-cwo freak setiap harinya,
nyari2 hantu gitu, tapi yg muncul cuma mereka berdua maen ayunan, mereka berdua ngobrol di dapur, mereka brdua tidur malem2, bangun pagi2, gitu2 aja, hahaha..
dan qt memutuskan utk nggak membuang2 waktu lbh lama lagi utk ngeliat adegan pintu kebuka sendiri ky ditiup angin gitu, lampu goyang2 ky lg gempa kecil, ah biasa banget..
ktnya endingnya sih serem, tp prjalanan menuju ending itu loh, NGEBOSENIN..


WEIRD YET FUNNY THING #1 :
d film itu ada adegan c cowo brniat m nyamperin sumber suara2 aneh gitu, trus cwe nya bilang, "be careful",
emang dasar film bajakan, di teksnya tertulis, "liver liver" yg kalo diterjemahin artinya "hati-hati" (be careful). hahaha. ditulis tanpa rasa bersalah gitu, "LIVER LIVER" ahahahahaha.

abis itu foto2 dh :)














trus ceritanya kemaren itu anniversary nya bokap & nyokap gw,
yeyy, congratz Mom, Dad..
rada aneh jg c, abisnya nyokap blgnya kemaren, tapi kt bokap hari ini,
tp akhrnya d rayainnya hri ini, haha..
org2 bisik2 d kejauhan : "pasangan suami istri yang aneh"





WEIRD YET FUNNY THING #2 :
ade gw yg paling kecil, c Karis, bilang gini pas qt smua lagi pada nyalam Mama & Papa buat blg slmt,
"Pa, Ma, kok waktu Papa ama Mama nikah aku nggak d undang siiiiiiiiihh?" dengan tampang innocent anak kecil gitu,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..



that's all for now.
^^

selasa gila

hari ini sudah dikodratkan, ditakdirkan dan dititiskan menjadi hari SELASA GILA.
well, i mean SELASA AMAT GILA.
atau lebih tepatnya SELASA AMAT SANGAT GILA.
tapi lebih cocok lagi disebut SELASA AMAT SANGAT GILA SEKALI.
tp sbnrnya itw adl SELASA AMAT SANGAT GILA SEKALI BANGET,
not to mention that actually it's SELASA AMAT SANGAT GILA SEKALI BANGET SEBANGET2NYA.
(halah, ap c..)


kegilaan d hari selasa pun dimulai DENGAN SENGAJA.
sebenernya gw dan temen2 gw yg gila ini prnah mlakukan hal sejenis kr2 setahun yg lalu,
dan berhubung slh 1 temen gw itu dah pndah skolah, jd jrg ktmu dan sekalinya ketemu, well, inilah yg terjadi.

SELASA GILA
Lokasi : kawasan MegaMall Manado.
Kostum : seragam sekolah
Actions:
- kan gw ama Lidya janjian ama temen dari skolah laen, nmnya Destira. trus yah, mata gw kan rabun gitu, dari kejauhan gw sok2 mo ngeliat si Destira gitu.
trus gw tny Lid, "itu bkn tuh?" trus Lid blg "iy2!" dgn PDnya. trus gw ngelambai dgn penuh semangat jiwa dan raga. pas kita nyamperin ke sono, GAK TAUNYA BUKAN. huahaha.
- satu 'pnyakit' yg sm dr qt brtiga yg seringkali kambuh saat lg bareng, yaitu : napsu potoan yg gila2an, dan kalo bunga matahari selalu menghadap ke arah cahaya matahari maka gw, tira dan lid slalu menghadap ke arah cahaya BLITZ.
dan potoan bs mnjadi suatu hal yg sngt abnormal, gila bahkan melanggar hukum kalo qt brtiga yg potoan. ky tadi nih, c tira tb2 mencetuskan ide lumayan gila utk potoan bareng satpam.
pas diajakin potoan, si satpamnya malah bilang, "maap de, kalo lagi tugas gak boleh potoan, trus gak boleh potoan disini nih, kalo pengen di situ tuh," jwb dia sambil nunjuk ke arah parkiran. PARKIRAN INI COY, PARKIRAN. emangnya qt potoan buat poster Hari Tukang Parkir Sedunia??!
- akhrnya qt nyerah tuh trus nyari objek poto ngaco lainnya. dan mata gw tertuju pd Fortuner yg terpajang kinclong d tengah2 mall. kynya mreka berdua langsung pada ngerti arti tatapan gw yg penuh napsu. (hah?! lolz)
dan pas udah stand-by nih,, "de, de, udah dibilangin gak boleh poto disini." ANJRIT dan qt ngibrit naek eskalator. hahah. serasa gembel baru nemu hape di kolong angkot dan lsg pengen poto2an sembarang.
- kita k matahari dgn satu tujuan penuh intrik di dlm kepala: POTOAN PAKE SALAH SATU BAJU MILIK MATAHARI DEPT.STORE TANPA HARUS BELI - DI KAMAR PAS. hahah. GILA KUADRAT.
dan satu hal yg lupa gw pertimbangkan, qt brtiga ngambil baju di tempat yg sama dan mbak2 yg ngasihnya jg sm, dan abis potoan, baru kebingungan dan akhirnya qt ngasal, "ah, ini yg merah ama pink-item mo diambil kayanya, tp mo liat2 dulu sih, ntar balik lg, kalo yg kuning mah kesempitan, gak jadi. makasih ya, mbak." dan mbak2 itu dgn tampang manis nggak curiga sm skali dan msh senyam senyum ajah. [kuning = Lidya, pink-item = Destira, merah = gw]




- k AMAZONE. karaokean lagu2 gak jelas sampe suara serak2 gitu. lagu mellow aja sambil gaya ajep2. lolliez. dan PERCAYA GAK, bnyk org yg tdnya cm niat lewat doang, jd masuk gr2 ngeliat qt2 kynya seru ajh d dalem, ato jgn2 mreka mikir, "ni bocah2 kesetrum kabel drmna c, coba liat ah, sapa tau bisa nyembuhin sembelit gw" wkwk gak nyambung ah
- di eskalator masih sempet potoan segala. ini seh udah sering gw lakuin, malahan pas lg bnyk org jg udah pernah.
- trus tau ga tau ga tau ga, sbg org indonesia asli dgn darah yg merah dan tulang yg putih (ya elah kayanya org Brunai Darussalam jg gitu pan),, dgn semangat perjuangan 45 membara dlm jiwa, Tira mencetuskan ide terhebat sepanjang masa, FOTOAN BARENG BULE.
emang ngaco abis tu anak. dan dengan tampang super cuek saking malunya, gw samperin tuh bule yg mrka mksud trus, "excuse me sir, may we take a picture together, please?" haha, kaco banget. "Oh, of course!" mereka pasti ngira qt bertiga utusan dr departemen transmigrasi atau pariwisata utk menguji keramahan dan kepedulian bule thd. anak2 jalanan d indonesia. Oh, great.

- gw lupa nama tokonya apaan, yg pasti tmpat jualan pernak-pernik kecewek2an, tipikal toko yg d bagian depannya penuh dgn cowok2 bertampang bete megang2 hape ato sekedar garuk2 pala, nungguin cewek2 mreka selese milih tali sepatu yg mana yg pgn mreka beli, yg kuning garis2 ijo ato ijo garis2 kuning. sejenis Naughty at Stoberi lah for instance. nah, awalnya nih, qt ngeliatin ajah, kok seragam mbak2 yg jaganya itw ky lucuuuuu ajh gitu. jadi pengen ap anak2? yak. fotoan sama mbak2nya. skr giliran Tira yg ngomong. "mbak, boleh foto bareng nggak?" ngeliat tampang mbak yg cengo kaya anak TK, gw berinisiatip nambahin, "emm, buat website sekolah, mbak," sambil tersenyum meyakinkan ala salesman obat jerawat. ngasal.
dan mbak2 itw mengambil keputusan yg amat sangat tepat yg akan mengubah hidup dan karirnya selamanya. (apa seh). dy blg MUSTI MNTA IJIN SAMA MANAJERNYA, AND SHE DID. she did! dy pegih ke seorang cewek muda baju kuning d blkg meja kasir dan komat-kamit. qt bertiga sebenernya udah setengah nyerah ajah, gw malah udah siap ngibrit..
TAPI sodara-sodari, bbrp menit kemudian cewek manajer baju kuning manggil qt k blkg, suer gw kira bakal dimarahin. kita dateng. dia ngeliatin kita. kita diem. dia diem. bbrp detik kemudian, "Wey, semua yg d blkg, sini, hayo sini, fotoan duluuuuu! ayoooo!" wakakakak. sumpah ngocol abis. akhrnya pada ngumpul mskipun bbrp keliatannya rada enggan dan gak yakin, tapi ada juga mbak2 super narsis yg malah jd semangat banget manggilin temen2nya.
dikiranya buat dipajang di koran KOMPAS kali ye. orang buat website sekolah. (emang sejak kapan sekolah gw pny web?! hahahh)

dan utk mengurangi rasa bersalah gw udah mengiming2in mrka ama janji plastik nih, gw pajang fotonya disini aja yah :) sori mbak2, kami hanyalah anak2 SMA kurang kerjaan^^







kira2 begitulah pengalaman 3 utusan suci dr pedalaman hutan pomorouw.
gw ngepostnya hari rabu nih, gak seru, pdhl dah trlanjur pake "hari ini", gapapa yah, anggep aja gw ngepostnya kemaren.


as for today, it's
rabu kelabu.
OH MY, I'M SO BUSTED

lagilagicinta

gw seringkali menyaksikan sndri bnyk tndakan bodoh yg dlakukn ats nama cinta.
yeah, cinta and nothing more..
"Ta, ngapaen lo kmrn tgh2 mlm lewat d dpn rmh gw?"
dan jwbannya, "iy nih, c Minah mnta d'beliin bakso urat pake pangsit rebus & krupuk udang, adanya kan cuma deket rumah lo"
"tengah malem?"
dan jwbannya, "abis, dy pengen banget.."

"Jang, katanya mo ke dokter gigi? kok nggak jd?"
dan jwbannya, "sebenernya sih.. tapi c Indah mnta ditemenin ke mall, soalnya ada lomba karaoke dangdut modern.."
"nggak jd nambal gigi busuk lo gr2 kontes dangdut?"
dan jwbannya, "abis mo gimana, c Indah udah niat banget.."

"Ceng, kok lo udh nggak prnah ng'beatbox lg?"
dan jwbannya, "c Ine nggak suka gw ng'beatbox,, ky kodok bangkong bljr bhs inggris ktnya.."
"bukannya lo suka banget ng'beatbox?"
dan jwbannya,"abis, kalo dy nya nggak suka, ya udalah.."

dan suatu hari saat lg maen Jelangkung,
"Ngkung, lo mati gara2 apa?"
dan koinnya brgerak mnyusun kalimat, "motong urat nadi pake peniti, absnya c Rena mutusin gw.."

JEGER.
(tntunya smua kasus d ats adlh hasil rephrase,, mgkn yg trjadi adlh kasus yg similiar, bkn yg sm persis, dan si Jelangkung, tntunya adl hasil NGIBUL. lolz)



however,, smpe skrg smua hal itw nggak masuk d otak gw..
nggak make sense sm skli.
org2 blng, seseorang bs aj nglakuin appun buat org yg dy syng, aplgi cinta.
bhkan stlah smua hal yg gw liat dan denger, nggak cukup utk ngebuktiin hal itu..
itw masih sbuah fenomena psikis psikologis dan mgkn agk2 mistis yg menimbulkan bbrapa tnda tanya besar pake tinta merah d jidat gw..


dan suatu saat nih, pas gw lagi d kamar mandi, nggak tau ngapain,, pengen aja masuk kamar mandi, hoho..
gw bengong, ngelamun, dan imajinasi gw kmbali berebutan utk kluar dgn binal.
dan gw mulai brpikir ttg cinta dan efek sampingnya, yaitu hal2 bodoh yg seringkali org lakukan.
tiba2 gw ngerasa,
mungkin gw menilai cinta ky mengukur ato mgkn menaksir kedalaman laut atau -katakanlah kali- tanpa menyelam k dlmnya.
gw trlalu pengecut utk bisa liat ato bhkn nyelam k dlm,
dan dr atas getek gw bersikeras bhw kali d bawah gw itw cetek..
gw trlalu pnakut utk ngadepin kali itw,
tp gw gk prcaya wktu org yg bru abs nyelam k dlm blg bhwa kali itw daleeeem.. (ngmg2, ngapain jg nyelem k kali?!)
gw memandang smuanya dr atas prmukaan,
dan smua trlihat cetek.
cobain dh, bdiri d kolam renang (d pinggirnya lah mksd gw), d pnggir area plng dalem, misalnya 2 meter.
msh bdiri d pnggir, cb liat k bwh..
kalo u nggak baca d pinggiran kolam kalo bagian itu dlmnya 2 meter, mgkn u udh nyebur dan kelelep mangap2..
krna?
yap, sodara-sodari. krna kolam itw kliatan lbh dangkal kalo d liat dr atas prmukaan.

dan gw mulai bs brenti berpikir bhw si Ta, Jang, Ceng, dan Jelangkung yg gw ceritain d atas td adlah org2 sarap.
mungkin gw nya aja yg nggak pernah 'menyelam' s'dlm mrka..
dan gw blajar, (bukan hnya dlm hal cinta2an tp utk smua hal),
bhwa qt nggak akan bs mengerti dgn sempurna,
hanya dengan
melihat dari atas permukaan.

homesick.

HOMESICK.

plis deh, maksud gw bukan rumah sakit. lolz
sakit rumah, scra harfiah.
mgkn dgn sdkit pnataan bahasa, scra definitif bs brarti suatu keadaan dmna seseorang mrasakan krinduan akn "rumah" atw kampung hlmannya

gw trmasuk slh stu org yg mndptkan kehormatan utk mrasakan homesick d usia yg cukup muda, yaitu ps SMA.
dan maksud gw adlah homesick yg s'bener2nya,
bkn homesick gr2 kangen boneka aligator u d hari k 3 perkemahan pramuka,
atau homesick gr2 nggak bs ng'net pas lagi liburan d kampung neneknya nenek.
skr, utk k'sekian kalinya, gw mrasakan homesick (lagi).
scara gk bynk ank SMA yg hidup d tmpat yg berjarak 2242km dr org tua -dan dlm hal ini rumah- mrka,, gk bnyk org yg bs gw curhatin dan bs ngerti prasaan homesick gw..
"yh, itulah gk enknya d asrma, eh, mknan apa d dining?"
"hmm, itw c gw jg pernah.. udah bikin pe er kimia blom?"
"ooh, kirain apaan. eh tau gak si anu ng sms gw loh.."
"homesick? haha, u nggak nangis kn? eh, ultah gw bentar lagi mih, mo ngasih ap?"
"ah, biasa itw ank asrma, ntr jg ngilang ndiri.. eh, pinjem kamus, dong.."
hah.
apaan sih.
gw nggak apa2 kq kalo u gak pura2 pduli. cpd.

gw kangen rumah.
gw kangen kamar gw-yang kalo ada wartawan nyasar, psti headline yg kluar d beritanya, "Terjadi Gempa Lokal Berkekuatan Tinggi di Kamar Seorang Gadis"
..tp yg jg adlah tmpat gw nangis, ktawa, duduk d jndelanya & ngeliatin langit dan sgla isinya, marah2, snyum2 sampe nyanyi2 sndri slma lebih dr setengah umur gw skr..
gw kangen nyokap gw -yang hdup dgn kata2 brkeliaran bercampuran melayang2 gentayang d kpalanya, smpe kalo mo nyuruh ap2 nih, psti prntah yg k'3 atw 4 bru bener nyebutnya..
..tp yg jg adlah pribadi super unik-nyentrik-menarik yg d balik kekacauan susunan katanya menyimpan kecintaan besar thd keindahan dan estetisitas kata.
gw kangen bokap gw -s'org komputer geek yg hampir nggak punya wktu tidur kcuali d pagi hari..
..tp yg jg adlah s'org bokap yg rela stuck stgh jam bulak-balik buku buat nyelesaiin soal operasi aljabar gw, dan stgh jam lg utk ngejelasin dan bkn gw bnr2 ngerti..
gw kangen ade (gede) gw yang hampir gk ada krjaan laen slain nonton video beatbox seharian, maen fm ato kliaran entah kmana..
..tp yg jg adlah ade yg bs d'sruh nganterin gw ngembaliin dvd k LG Movie, beliin makanan padang, es kelapa dan -ah, udh ah, jd laper, lolz
gw kangen ade (kecil) gw -c maniak hotwheels yg (wktu itw c) tiap pulang dr TKnya ngomel krna bosen duduk trus..
..tp yg jg adlah ade yg sukses bkn gw ternganga dgn PR Kumon, EF, dll nya yg bhkan lbh numpuk dr PR liburan gw..
gw kangen temen2 smp gw -yg gilanya nggak ketulungan..
gw kangen ekalokasari, pangrango plaza, btm, botani square, Wr. Jambu, bahkan Warung Bu Joko deket rumah,
gw kangen angkot yg ijo, dgn bumper warna-warni yg seringkali nggak matching,
gw kangen pulang skolah jalan ujan2an sambil tutup mata & dgrin suara ujan,
gw kangen tukang jual pulsa berjilbab d sebrang tukang ojek,
gw kangen setiap sudut rute Bantar Jati-Pajajaran gw,
gw kangen tukang2 ojek d perempatan dkt rumah,
gw kangen tukang rujak bawel d dpn skolah,
gw kangen ngeledekin Andrian,
gw kangen d kasiin tissue b'leho,
gw kangen lomba tahan ktawa rame2,
gw kangen d lap'in keringet ma rQ & Pince,
gw kangen pang lama2 & pang gede2 teureup,
gw kangen bikin pe er bareng d rumah ny cindy,
gw kangen digangguin d rmh sore2 sm team kiwil,
gw kangen kebingungan nyari2in kata aneh d kamus sunda-indonesia,
gw kangen mojok k sudut kamar, diem, mikir, cri inspirasi atau skdar cengo,
gw kangen tukang jualan susu murni nasional yg stiap sore ngider2 kompleks,
gw kangen semua,
gw kangen SEMUA,
S-E-M-U-A.

dan skrg,
d sudut kamar yg baru,
gw diem, gw mikir dan gw cengo.
gw ad d tmpat yg nggak gw harapkan skrg..
TAPI,
tapi nih,
nggak kbayang c,
tp,
suatu saat,
I'll miss THIS place, as much as I DO miss my hometown now.

The Moral Of The Homesick:
be grateful for where are u now.
believe me, u'll be missing it..
mgkn skrg gw ngerasa ad d tmpat yg salah, and i wish i could be somewhere else..
mgkn gw kangen trlalu bnyak hal d tmpat gw yg lama dan nggak suka trlalu bnyak hal d tmpat yg baru..
tp, gw gak akan prnah tw sbrpa bsr gw bkl kangen tmpat gw skr, suatu saat nanti.
gw nggak prnah tw bakal segitu kangennya sm tmpat yg dulu jg agk sdkit gw -yah- nggak sukalah,
bahkan sampe k tukang rujaknya segala..
kalo aja gw tau bakal harus ninggalin dan ngangenin mreka, (untg aj gw gk prnah tau smpe saat ini akhrnya),, kalo aja gw tau sblmnya,
bkn nggak mungkin gw mintain tuh satu2 nomer hape tukang ojek dan tukang pulsa..
haha, ya enggaklah.

INTINYA,
syukurin ap yg qt pny skrg,
hargai stiap momen & ksmpatan,
krna 2 hal itw seringkali nggak pernah terulang.

bkn knangan sbanyak mungkin,
supaya bukan cm gw aj yg homesick,
tp mama, papa, ade2, temen2 SMP, tukang ojek, tukang pulsa, tukang rujak, pengamen, sampe tukang susu murni juga ngerasain shirasick.
yeah,
SHIRASICK.

plis deh, maksud gw bkn shira sakit.
lolz XD

inspiring commercial

gw baru aja liat ni iklan d YouTube,,
suerrrr inspiring banget..
tetang s'org gadis tulis & bisu yg akhirnya brhasil maenin Canon in D pake biola..
Canon in D bukan lagu yg susah2 amat klo mnurut gw,
tapi,, dgr suara biola ny aj gk bs, HOWCOME she can play it?! wew..
ni iklan Pantene yg d'siarin d Thailand,,
yg dpt medali perak d New York Festival (NYF), Feb 2009.

walaupun ad adegan rambut terbang-melayang-indah-halus-kemilau ala iklan shampoo dan ktauan banget pas itu adegannya violin-sync (haha, ngasal yh gw.. mksd gw teh ky lip-sync tp ini kn biola, jd violin-sync, wkwk),
tp buat gw, tetep ni iklan inspiring & motivating bgt^^
so check it out:


The Moral Of The Commercial :
nothing is impossible.
see the invisible, hear the silence,
all u gotta do is BELIEVE,
and strike ur best :)

cinta dan makanan manado (?!)

i love him,
the same time i'm asking WHY.
i love him,
the same time i'm asking HOWCOME.
i love him,
ever wondering if it's FOR REAL.
i love him,
ever doubting if it will -at least- LAST.
i love him,
for some reasons i still couldn't find.
i love him,
but i doubt.
i love him.
the same time i'm fighting it.

yeaahh,,
jatuh cinta itu bukan pilihan.
nggak ada hak revokasi.
nggak bisa disclaim.
kok kayak kena musibah, yah.

• gw pernah jatuh cinta sama orang yang bahkan lebih kemayu dari guru bahasa dan sastra gw..


• gw pernah jatuh cinta sama orang yang takut ketinggian, padahal beberapa tahun yang lalu gw pernah bersumpah (jiaahh) di depan bokap dan nyokap gw untuk nggak deket-deket sama cowok yang takut ketinggian (hahah..)


• gw pernah jatuh cinta sama orang yang nyaris nggak pernah melakukan apapun selain stuck di ruangan yang pengap dan main game online seharian, padahal gw kayanya pernah ceramahin adek2 gw yang manis2 dan imut2 untuk MENGHARAMKAN game online semacam DOTA, RF, dan sejenisnya.. (kalo CS boleh, soalnya gw jg suka, wkwk)


• gw pernah jatuh cinta sama orang yang bahkan nggak bisa ngeja "weekend" dengan ejaan yg bener..


• gw pernah jatuh cinta sama orang yang bahkan nggak akan pernah sadar dan NGGAK AKAN PERNAH sadar hal itu

well.
bukan karna gw pengin, bukan karna gw yg minta. cih, enak aja.
trus karna apa?? kalo aja gw tau.

orang yg jatuh cinta itu ibaratnya orang yg addicted sama makanan ala manado.
gw bingung sensasi apa yg diimpi-impikan dan diharapkan org saat mereka merelakan lidah mereka dibakar panasnya kuah asang, saat mereka merelakan gigi geligi mereka disangkutin cabe merah dr ikan woku, saat mereka merelakan bibir mereka menebal dan mendower sehabis makan sambel roa super pedes.
kok kayaknya cita rasa pedes itu penting banget yah.
kalo makan apa-apa nih, mendingan nggak ada sendok daripada nggak ada sambel.
buset. kalo gw sih tetep nyariin garpu duluan.
fenomena yang gw nggak ngerti, knapa org2 tetep berlomba2 pang pedes-pedes makanan saat mereka tau itu cuma bakal bibir mereka nebel, lidah mereka gegeteran, kuping mereka panas (beneran dh, kalo pedes bgt suka gt), dan idung mereka beringus.
apaan sih.
kok kayanya analoginya nggak nyambung yah, hehe..
mohon maaf, abis gw nulis ini sambil ngeladenin orang gila via YM yg ng'BUZZ setiap bbrapa detik gw nggak ngbales omong kosong dy.

intinya, cinta itu kayak makanan manado.
pedes, nggak bagus buat orang hamil, bikin dower (HAH?! lolz), pokonya sensasinya (untuk beberapa alasan kelebayan pilihan kata): destruktif.
but,

we're
addicted.
yeah,
a-d-d-i-c-t-e-d.