my first post in chictopia

I've been wanting to make a chictopia account, but, well, I'm too lazy to take pictures of myself so I think, "what the hell am I gonna post there?"
I would kindly use my boyfriend's help with these kinda things,
but, well, let's not talk about it.
so here are the pictures.

dorm act(s)

well, living in a dorm,
was such a doom, i used to think.

a few painful adjustments have to made,
and not to mention the strict rules and tons of them,
well everything changes,
it changes my inner-most, too.
and i would cry reminiscing it.
and it just tricks me out to see how everything happens.

Do You Remember?

do you remember?
at first our relationship is so dysfunctional.
i swore that i'll never love you, which turned out to be the biggest lie ever told.

do you remember?
everybody thinks and says we are so different.
but, like magnets with different pole, we can't resist but to stick together.

do you remember?
people said i was wrong,
but now i realize i have to be wrong in their eyes sometimes to get what's worth.


do you remember?
i was a quite a mess,
proud of my doubt of love,
but you never give up on me.


do you remember?
i cried and cursed at you,
but you took my hand and never let go.

do you remember?
you made me cry,
then you made me laugh, as I'm the happiest person alive.

do you remember?
all the things that we've been through,

all the wishes we whisper in prayer,
will you remember?

Unika Atma Jaya

well,
no more high school.
no more old-fashioned white and gray.

from now on, college awaited.

and this time, my heart was set on this place.

who is supposed to tell me

well sorry blog, life's business, tasks even bliss take you away from me.
blame 'em.

okay so this is the many-eth time i dumped my bf over.
yes, that same boyfriend since the first of my story begin. he, that same guy.
that same guy makes me laugh then cry.
makes me love then leave.

well that's not the problem.
at some points everybody has to face it anyway.
the problem indeed, is,
this breaking up scene has been some kind of habit to me.
we go through something, i don't like it, i mad, we mad, i gone mad, thinking better off is without him, become sure of it,then break up.
and then i become lonely, wish he was here, text him, pick up his call,then make up.
this become like some kind of a painful goddamn cycle to me -to both of us.

"When you are single all you see is happy couples.
When you are in a relationship all you see is happy single people"
@DamnItsTrue

and i was like "Damn, it's true!"

WHAT DO I WANT?

write therapy

yes, i dumped my boyfriend.
u could say so i u want to.
but the truth is, i didn't exactly dumped him, in any meaning.
i just ended our pathetic, unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship.
someone has gotta do it anyway.

yes.

and that someone is hurting inside, too.
she feels SOME PAINs. too.
and yet she did it, bearing the hurt, killing the pain,
trying hard to survive and not to drowned inside those overwhelmed memories.
and yes tears rolls down her face when she saw her pictures with you.
there are many of them, unfortunately.
and yes her heart throbs abnormally when she saw u downtown or anywhere else and it hurts like a hypodermic needle, and what makes it even more hurtful is that it's so transparent so u can see the blood runs leaving ur body so cheerfully ahaha i'm beggining to babble again babble babble without even knowing where i'm going.

well the point is,
Thank God, to my rescue,
there's this thingy.
i called it write therapy and it describes its own definition perfectly.
u may think i'm babbling around meaninglessly - yes in fact i am- but u may hv no idea what good this done to me.

yeaa ahh.
go babblin' go babblin' go.